After years of pulling the load all by myself and holding up the world as a single, sole bread winner Mom, for my two kids –who are now older teens it’s time to lay the burden down.
For years I thought I can’t wait to get out from under this rock – which has felt at times like Sisyphus task; pushing up the hill only to have it roll back down and crush you or jump out of the way and push it up again. But now I find myself in a way struggling to let go and stumbled instead of stepping back.
When the hero Hercules needed someone to get the Apples of the Hesperides he went to Atlas and took his burden to allow Atlas to collect the apples which were after all in his garden. Heretofore, Hercules has always been a man of action; whereas Atlas stood still on the spot rooted by burden.
Rooted to the spot by burden. To lay it down almost feels like a betrayal and unbalanced. The guilt after being in response always ‘on’ mode and proving myself able all the time. Am I any good? How do I serve, what can I offer now that I’m not caring for another?
Time to do for myself. Be my own coach. Tell my own story.
The way foreword for me is to let go after what seems like a lifetime of holding it together. It is scary to release that static grip; worrying about disastrous consequences. But what about the amazing possibilities I never let myself dare dream? Always crushed under the practicality of how.
My daughter has opted to move away for college. with Disney Dad the one who was never there for the heavy lifting. Letting her go was a blessing and a relief to both of us. And yet –it’s too quiet and there is an empty place in my heart and house. I’ve been missing my charming little spark of starlight for a long time as she has been pushed through the pulverizing machine that is now the GCSE process at secondary school. But once the last test was complete she surfaced and smiled, and we talked and suddenly it was so easy to wish her well and step aside. Albeit a wrenching pain as the fingers of the grip cranked opened and loosened. The well of tears just keeps filling up waiting to spill. Taking the decision to go back home to look after my own Dad and reconnect with family – a trip we would make annually altogether as a family unit usually. Its time to disconnect and let them stand on their feet. And me on mine.
The focus changes. The limbs become more flexible and the possibilities move from wish list to plans to schedule. Time to fly free above the trees and see what the lay of the land is now.
Writing the new chapter to my story.
What story are you re-writing? What chapter has come to an end in your life? Have you ever been relieved of a responsibility or had a life transition where you let something go? A partner, job, parent, habit? What are you in service to that is weighing you down? What do you in the quite moments feel drawn to?
I serve those who need to step out from behind the shadows, those that are wiggling out from under a weight and are ready to be seen and heard. New Leaders. New Collaborators. I help you identify your story, craft it and tell it to shine your light of visibility and be a beacon for us all. Who wants to shine?
Contact me to craft and learn to tell your ONE MINUTE STORY